I'm about 4 posts in on this whole blog thing. I used to write super consistently over at http://survivingbythegraceofgod.blogspot.com when my kids were younger. But then readers got critical and I didn't like the conflict and I also still struggle to think that anyone would want to read what I have to write.
But I've always said that when God pokes and prods you, you need to listen and follow his poking and prodding so here I am, starting this whole blog thing up again!
But I'm also working out this website stuff and realizing that I've got a lot to learn and that truthfully, I don't know if I'll ever have a beautiful website that everyone oohs and aahs over. At least not until I hire someone who likes to take the time to make websites look beautiful....
Meanwhile, I'm over here telling no one that I have been working on the revisitation of my blogging life because I'm overthinking ALL of it!
My website is a mess.
I don't have a great selection of pictures - they are super dorky.
Are my words reeeeeallly worth reading?
Can I stay committed? Despite the fact that I doubt myself every day?
What value am I bringing to anyone?
My life is so far from perfect. I do NOT have it all together, not even a little bit!
I'm going to go read my book...
So here I sit, fighting the battle of doing what I'm called to do or writing my blog in the background hoping that someday it'll be good enough for me to actually want to share it.
And then I am reminded of a blog post from many years ago. I wrote about my ceiling fan.
It was brassy and ugly and not high on the priority list of things to change in our house. It was in the family room and it was embarrassing. I hated it.
But in my writings about the ceiling fan, I made a realization: people who come to visit me and spend time at my house are not there for my gorgeous ceiling fans. They are there to visit me because they like me, the real, dorky, goofballish me. And if they are there just because of the nice things my house has offer and not because of me, then we probably don't need to be friends anyway and then why should I care what they think of my ceiling fan?!
So I guess what I learned from my past self is this: I need to stop worrying about how pretty the website is (or isn't). If you are here to read what I have to write, then I have accomplished my purpose, right?!
So thank you for visiting. I hope that my blog has served some kind of purpose in your life, whether to motivate you to go do the things or to make you smile.
Now pardon me while I go look for a dorky picture to use with this post....
Well this is a successfully dorky picture so I think I'll go with it!
Party on, Wayne!!
Comments